Sunday, June 18, 2006

Facing Anxiety

Just had another revelation while I was journaling this weekend. I was pondering about what makes me stop myself from doing the things that could change my life for the better, getting me closer to my dreams. The answer I came up with is that it boils down to one single emotion. Anxiety.

Think back to what anxiety feels like. The pain of rejected love, the sickness you feel when someone else gets that dream job, the death of your child, waking up to divorce papers on your bed.. these are a few scenarios that make us remember a gut-wrenching feeling that makes you wanna puke. These experiences imprint on us a permanent scar that affects our decisions later on.

Maybe we ought not to try and "get over" the feelings of pain. Time heals, but if something like this attempts to enter our lives again, we might be shying away from what could be the best thing ever. I have made a pact with myself to face my anxieties head on, and go after the things I think could make life beautiful for me. So what if I fail, so what if I get rejected, so what if I make a fool out of myself in front of the whole world, so what if I get hurt. Its so important to feel what you are feeling inside your heart of hearts. Running away from the prospect of anxiety is just a mere illusion of safety. Stay where you are and feel the truth penetrate your soul.

If you get hurt, feel the pain. Know yourself by facing your anxiety. The self-destructive behavior is to shy away from some emotion that you eventually have the power to control. The way to "get over it" is to face it and feel it, because if you run away, you will be caught and controlled by it. Go ahead and take that painful risk. You are the one in control.


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