Saturday, November 19, 2005

Being Alone

The one thing that has alot of people giving me flack is my apparant lack of a social life. I don't deny it. I keep my friends circle small, only including those I trust completely and for whom I'd go out of my way. The one personality trait I've always seemed to hold on to throughout my young life is the love for focused solitude.

According to the Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) I am a classic introvert, and a highly conceptual thinker who likes to explain the world away using reason and logic. I am a serious thinker and whenever I am looking for solutions, I seek them within myself. I do not rely on emotions for my decision-making. I go to experts if need be but the final decision is always mine. If experts in the field tell me to do something but it doesn't strike me, I will not do it. That said, my need for friends and social acceptance is not on my life's priority list. My personality type according to the MBTI makes up only 1% of the total population. I am clearly abnormal and proud of it!

While most people would prefer having a large set of friends to meet various emotional needs, I tread the other path. Friends are a luxury for me. I have no inclination or interest to go bar hopping, shopping, or lazing about. Yes, I do like to have a drink once in a while, but only if its with company that I am constructive with. Giving comfort to close friends, talking to business associates discussing strategies, or even discussing the new rules of cricket with random people I just met in the elevator. I visit the mall only when I seriously need to buy things for myself or if there is a great movie on. Shopping sprees bore me. When I like to take time off, I usually laze off all by myself surrounded by my books, DVDs, music, and professional journals.

I actually love being alone. I get excited when I'm with my thoughts. Great ideas come to me when I am alone enjoying my bubble bath. I experience a deep peace at night while reading an inspiring book before bed. All throughout my college years, if there would be an odd count in our class for group projects, I would always volunteer to work alone.. double the work, but double the results. When you want something done right, do it yourself.

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre once said "Hell is other people". Well I wouldn't go that far. I still enjoy going to networking meetings, getting to know new people, what they do and finding out how we could help each other. I only like associating with people if they add significant value to my life, and vice versa. I do not mean to give off the impression that I am a complete loner who doesn't know what fun is. Bottom line is that I keep my life pretty simple. My idea of fun is gaining knowledge, talking philosophy, writing, traveling, cuisine, music, a soothing aromatic massage, and enjoying my relaxation time.

Being alone stems from my disdain for the materialism and superficiality that is so prevalent in my city. I am so sickened by the lack of depth in people's minds it is almost like we are regressing. People are so blinded by their abusers, and things are taken for granted so easily around here. People are held captive in the matrix. I'd like to qualify Monsieur Sartre's statement and say "Hell is other superficial, materialistic, robotic, and egoistic people."

Sometimes I truly wish I lived during the time of the ancient Greek philosophers where the pursuit of truth defined a person, rather than the kind of car you drive.. where solitude was the norm.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats why you havent got a boyfriend. get out more. i mean this in the kindest possible way. Good Luck.

Friday, 25 November, 2005  
Anonymous Willy said...

Solitude is chosen aloneness.
Loneliness is forced aloneness.
Mostly you choose to be alone,; yourself is enough company.
I am that too. Sometimes I need to reach out, if only to really grasp my ideas and get a handle on my feelings.
We all need to share, even only with the deeper self within.
When to be alone or when not is better left to the whim and wiles of your Secret Sharer.

Friday, 14 July, 2006  
Anonymous Willy said...

Analysis, analysis! Enough, enough!
Out, out, brief candle!(Macbeth)...
O Mubie, being alone, is mystery, unshareable, cannot be plumbed nor in words cupped...that's what is dark and dangerous in the human condition.
Do you realize what is meant by the words: Being Alone...its a private sea, with cold, storms and cannibals thriving. Fortunately, most people think of being alone is when they put shutters to others. Being truly alone is ontological isolation!

Wednesday, 19 July, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like ur way of thinking a yet i dont know how i get to be interesting for some.. i am just the way you are

Tuesday, 12 October, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm like that, too. I use to think that maybe there was something wrong with me for wanting to be by myself...but now I see!!

Thursday, 21 October, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clap clap clap,
amazing post.
I like the way you think,
it reminds me of myself.

Gaining knowledge, philosophy, and experience is what I like..and is a invaluable gift that I can give myself...

my email:

Monday, 27 June, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also am like that, but eventually, if you let your mind stray into deep thoughts, you realize that no matter how many friends you have, no matter how big of a crowd, you are always alone. Your decisions, your choices, in the end... Completely made by yourself. Advice is the only thing any1 can give you, but you are still alone in the end. No1 can tell you what to do, but nobody else sees that as a downfall too. Means you are alone for your actions.

Tuesday, 11 October, 2011  
Blogger Dipsta said...

excellent!A fellow INFJ :) So rare . Enjoyed reading your post. Can totally relate to what you wrote

Saturday, 07 April, 2012  

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